Yes

Someday, I hope to say this.

On Beauty

I don't often talk about beauty as a concept. After all, I eschew reading women's magazines, since I think they offer a limited view of beauty and being a woman. I had my first manicure 5 months ago, and I'm well into my thirties.


This piece is about finding someone beautiful through the process of falling in love with her (or him, even). It's about the unexpected "hook" you feel for someone you didn't necessarily notice when you first met.

Before I Met You

I was talking to a friend last night at my favorite local bar. She just returned from a trip to Berlin, during which she wiped away the cobwebs from a recent breakup.


Before her trip, we had joked about the embroideries I should make. I was on deadline to deliver work, and needed to make some post-its quickly. She came up with the idea of a black square, and the concept of emptiness. I'm not sure who came up with the text, but I think it was a collaborative effort.


She told me that while on her trip, she kept imagining the embroidery, and couldn't wait to give it to someone, her future love. I went home last night after our conversation and embroidered my version of what I think she was imagining. 


"Life before I met you" (was a black hole).

Peter Pan

While I feel this requires no explanation, I will admit that I recently went on a date with someone 10 years younger than me. In the past, I would never have entertained this idea, but he was polite and straightforward, and enthusiastic, qualities I like, which are often lacking in men in a more appropriate age bracket. While sparks didn't fly, (I just couldn't get over the experiential difference as a result of our age gap) I enjoyed talking to him.


I made this piece to remind myself of a few things: sometimes men who are "perfect" on paper (live in a convenient and desirable location, have a similar education level, are an appropriate age, personable, funny and smart), are not mature when it comes to their relationships with women. In the past I had a hard time accepting this. I simply couldn't believe that any adult could willingly refuse to accept adult responsibilities, particularly in a romantic context. If you had a choice to nurture a loving relationship with someone you clearly liked, why wouldn't you pursue it?


Now, after having lived through some romantic disappointments, I am well aware that we don't know anyone until we're actually involved with them. Often, our fantasies don't pan out as "planned." Best to not "plan" anything and keep an open mind.

All of You

What if you find him and he slips through your fingers? This fear used to guide my dating behavior. For a while, I went on countless dates, fearing I would say "no" and let someone "good" (whatever that means) slip through my fingers unwittingly. Now, "no" is my standard. After years of unsatisfying dates and relationships lasting several months at most, I am waiting for a feeling of synthesis, no, excitement and connection sooner rather than later. 


I recently found myself sitting next to someone I'd met before but with whom I had never felt any special connection. He literally transformed before my eyes from "just some guy" at the bar to someone with a vast and interesting inner world, and an ability to articulate at least some of it compellingly. I need more of those moments.